And take that damn cow with you!!! Yes, I know I sound a tad harsh, but c’mon people, As a mom to 3 kids and a kindergarten teacher for five years, I have been reading this children’s classic aloud to one child after another, night after night, week after week, month after…OH YOU GET THE PICTURE!
Now that my baby is 10 and reading on her own, I couldn’t be happier to stop reading some of these books. I always wondered about some of the books, let’s take “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie” for example. In the book, the mouse goes to one situation after another in the the pursuit of eating his cookie. He finds some crayons, draws a picture, hangs it on the fridge….a very cute story of an easily distracted mouse. In reality, if you gave a mouse a cookie, all the other mice would hunt him down, kill him and rip him apart for the cookie! Yes if you give a mouse a cookie, chances are , mob mentality will take over and at the end you will have a dead rodent ! Not such a happy ending!
In the book, “Curious George Gets A Job” Curious George goes into a hospital to check out the employment possibilities and then… Oh No!… there goes that silly little George inhaling the sleeping gas in the operating room and he knocks out right there in the hospital! Oh you silly Curious George you! OK, let’s face it, Curious George was huffing!!! Curious George got high!!! Does he have a problem? Is this habitual? Is curiosity really a personality trait or a sign of addiction? And just who is the man in the yellow hat hanging around him all the time?”
Pat the Bunny” is a book that has little pieces of fabric and fur that each child gets to feel and explore. It is a little book that boasts expanding the reading into an activity that uses another sense. Each child touches the book, his nose, his mouth and then then the book again. Why not just call the book, “Let’s All Get Pink Eye!”.
Don’t even get me started on “Cat in the Hat”! Nothing ever good happens when you let a stranger into the house. Oh, I guess the hat makes him an “o.k.” stranger.Then there’s “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” which is the really a tapeworm in drag! “The Grouchy LadyBug” was always pissed off and everyone kisses her polka dotted behind!
Yes, I say once and for all, Goodnight Moon, spoon, cow, dish, bear and all the other insomniacs in that creepy green and gray nursery!